Category Archives: Family Therapy

Losers Sometimes Win

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img_3504-2.jpgWe had a rough evening last night, and the sadness continues today.  Our pastor has decided that he can no longer bear the gossip that has corroded our 800 member church, so he’s leaving.  I have a very hard time understanding the concept that liars should take control of a community of worshipers; and equally, I have a hard time of grasping the idea that you give up on something – in reality, the losers have won.

I may have previously mentioned the issues at our church in Utah.  A group of people within the congregation decided to oust the pastor, and they did it.  Whether he was the right pastor for the church was not the issue for me and my family – it was that a group of people, without caring what anyone but their little huddle thought, decided what was best for everyone else….and they set out to get rid of the pastor, and they succeeded.

Losers should not win. 

Winners should not quit.

And Christians should go back to their Bibles and study harder on how we are asked to live our lives.  We are Lutherans, so even reading through Luther’s Small Catechism should be enough to learn the 10 Commandments – and to realize that gossip is a sin.

The Eighth Commandment:  Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.  What does this mean? –Answer:  We should fear and love God that we may not deceitfully belie, betray, slander, or defame our neighbor, but defend him, [think and] speak well of him, and put the best construction on everything.

Now, the question for our family is – will we give up on them?  We quit the church in Utah, because we did not feel that the losers should win.  We were duped and lied to (in our opinion) — and there should NOT be a place in a church for those types of behaviors to exist.   I don’t feel lied to in this church, though I do feel that we are a long way from living a life of faith as a community – and that, above all else, is the heart of the matter with me.  I am a Christian.  I choose to go to church because Jesus speaks of us rising above and joining together, to share our faith with others.  But, as it is now, with a portion of the church who choose to live in their own community of gossip, we are not one in the spirit, we are not one in the world. 

Putting Out Fires

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I knew DD#1 was reading late into the night, but I hadn’t been able to catch her at it.  The other morning, when she was still asleep at 10 am, I knew that it was time for some mom-sleuthing. 

Yes, we’re a family of readers.  If you ever saw the number of bookcases and books in our house, you’d understand.

And yes, in my younger years, I’d been known to stay up all night with a novel or two.  And the story’s been told that the dad-person would sneak a flashlight under his bed covers to read the encyclopedias, too (way more sick than me).

The other night, I went to open DD#1’s door, to tell her goodnight – and finally figured out her methods.  She has a reading lamp, and she’d covered it with three bandanas – leaving just enough light flow to read by.  I took the top bandana off of the lamp and put it on her cheek (yes, I checked the temp of it, first – I’m not that bad of a mom) to show her just how hot that little lamp could be – and just how hot her cover was.  And then I explained that burning down our house just to get a good read in was not on the acceptable list. 

Oy, I can’t even imagine what would happen if I’d not figured her out.

The next day, she told me she wanted a new flashlight for her birthday next week.

ummmm, right.  Over my burned and charred body!  hehe

I also spent the weekend putting out quilting fires.  I love this type much better than the aforementioned ones!  With a few movies and a needle and thread, I was all set for my favorite type of quilt therapy!

I finished the “Snow Smores” quilt:

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And here’s the back, so you can see how a quilt-as-you-go quilt looks from behind:

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And I finished the binding on the “Golden Royal Layers” Quilt, all ready for launching tomorrow for the BOMquilts.com 2008 “Christmas in July” celebration!

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My Dumpster Diving Husband

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Wednesdays and Saturdays are dump days in these hills, and since we don’t have regular trash pick-up, and there’s a burn ban in our county – the dump is the place to be for all who need to discard their trash or recycles!  But, my MIL refuses to go – she’s sure the dump man hates her as he charges her a different rate every time she goes over there.  So, my manly-man husband has taken over the dump duties.

He and the two little ones went to the dump yesterday, with the rest of the trash from the reunion last week.

I used to think he was a redneck.

Now?  I think he’s just a hillbilly …. as he was dumpster diving and came home with this!

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ummm, yeah, a broken gate.  “Totally fixable,” the dump man tells him.  “Totally fixable,” my dumpster diving husband repeats. 

UGH – we’ll see how long it takes before it becomes totally trash again!

Rocket Men

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My son (and his dad, of course) started playing with rockets about five years ago.  I guess my husband had them as kids, and he wanted his son to enjoy the same type of fun that he did, growing up.

DD#1 went to a rocket summer day camp some years ago, so she got hit with the rocket bug, too.  And then son-man and his cousin attended a Boy Scout camp where they launched rockets.

We gave our nephew a rocket a few years ago as a gift, but we’ve never been quite able to connect with him and the rocket, out here in the country, to set it off.  Unfortunately, nephew is impatient and tried to do it himself at home, and lost a very important piece.  So, his never-been-launched rocket is pretty useless.

But, while Mom and DD#3 napped on the 4th of July, the dad-person and the rest of the family got together to do some rocket launches.  They had a whole lotta fun, until the rocket went so far that it ended up in a tree somewhere downwind, at the neighbors (who weren’t home, so they haven’t retrieved it yet).

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Three cousins, working together to launch the rocket

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The peanut gallery, out for an afternoon rocket show

What’s a 4th of July Without Fireworks?

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We live in the country, way out 10 miles from anything (and then there’s little or nothing unless you drive about 30 miles)…so, we don’t usually participate in fireworks displays put on by local municipalities.

But, we do usually have our own fireworks show – out here in the hill country.

That was, until the fire that nearly destroyed my MIL’s front porch last year.

So, this year, when the county put up “burn ban” signs everywhere, we took heed.

hmmm, what to do with a dozen kids and another dozen “older” kids?

Aunt Tammy bought water balloons!  But, I didn’t want it to just be one big fat “mean” water balloon fight – so, I found some games online and we modified them to suit our needs.  I also want to say we had the most friendly competitions I’ve ever seen – there were winners and losers — but, they were having so much fun that no one really made a big deal out of being in either group.  Yeah for a bit of maturity and sportsmanship!

And what fun they had!

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This was the run and smash game — pick up a balloon at the starting line, run it down to another line and carefully set it on the ground, then smash it with your foot.  If it broke before you smashed it, you had to start over.  The team who got all the way through first, was the winner.

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Balloon towel toss game.  A balloon was placed on the towel and the team had to toss it across to their team partners, who were holding another towel.  We timed it at 2 minutes, and the team with the most successful balloons that were tossed, without breaking, were the winners.

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Wet potato game.  We had any number of balloons going around the circle – if you missed the catch or the balloon popped in your hands, you were out.  By the time we were down to the final three participants, we had three balloons going – and two of the players just decided to throw their balloons at the third player – cause it was so fun.  I must make note that two of the cousins got to laughing so hard over the balloons coming and going that they both were disqualified because they couldn’t laugh and pass balloons at the same time.

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Balloon belly run.  Two people had to suspend a balloon between them, on their bellies, and walk / run from the start line to the finish line and back.  If you popped your balloon, your belly got all wet and you were out.  The two girls who won?  Well, let’s just say that they used parts of themselves that were higher than their bellies – where there was a built-in cradle that held the balloon without popping it.

In the end, there were still balloons left, so we did let them throw a few at each other.  But, by that time, it was really all in fun (and not just being out to get someone) – so, except for a few wet bodies, I think it was a successful way to spend a 4th of July during a burn ban!

Next up today, a competition for the kids to see how many of the balloon pieces they can pick up out of the yard!  And yes, this time, it’s a competition with prizes!