DD#2 has been upset with me for a week. {sigh}
Last week, she came home with a flyer about the YMCA in a town that’s about a 45 minute drive away, as they were giving lessons and having a league for volleyball. I said we couldn’t drive to that town every week, just for her to attend lessons and games. Next year, when she’s in 7th grade, she can start in sports at her school, and that’s more feasible for us. She was not just mad that she couldn’t participate this year, but that next year, everyone would be better than her because they’d participated this year.Â
She went stomping up to Mama Lu’s house to practice her piano. Of course, Mama Lu talked with her, too, and said the same thing I did.
This is the daughter that does more outside, extracurricular activities than any of the other children. And when you have four kids that you have to split time with for both inside and outside activities, there’s no simple solution except to try to be fair to all.
Yesterday, she came home, and started reciting the practice and game schedule – which directly coincided with her piano lessons (that she’s wanted to take for most of her life). She figured if the practices were in the school gym, she’d be able to participate. But, the games themselves are in the town that’s 45 minutes away. On Saturdays. UGH
I explained it yet again, that she couldn’t possibly do both piano and volleyball, and I wasn’t willing to give up our stay-at-home Saturday routine just to attend games for her. She asked why Mama Lu couldn’t do it, and I explained that she was OUR daughter, and Mama Lu may have fun watching her a time or two, but it wasn’t HER responsibility to raise our children. She huffed and puffed and cried and whined, then went to her bedroom.
I had to go get those groceries I was too tired to get on Sunday, so while the dad-person got the kids through the showers and fed them dinner, I ran over the hill and filled a basket and the back end of the auto with all of the necessities. I made it home just in time to blow the dust out of my sewing machine, close up the chickens, talk to the kids a bit and then say prayers and get them to bed.
But, while in town, I ran into a pal from church who has a daughter DD#1’s age….and that daughter is involved in every sport possible in her school. They just have two children, so they pretty much just tag-team to keep up with everyone’s schedule. Plus, they have been in that town for 11+ years, so they have friends who will help them move kids around. She asked me why we couldn’t ask Mama Lu to help us – and I explained that we could, but to me, it wasn’t really PARENTING if we sent someone else to do our job, especially for games – and gee, if she’s going to be involved in something, as a parent, I want to enjoy her participation, too.
When I got home and was cleaning my sewing machine, DD#2 came in and apologized to me for her behavior. I asked her if she really understood about my decision. She said yes, we couldn’t afford it. I said, no, that wasn’t the #1 reason, though it was a consideration since it cost so much to run over the hill and back….the real reason was because she was already committed to other extracurricular activities that SHE chose, and the other kids were, too. Monday is Cub Scouts and my quilt group, Tuesday is Cheer Squad practice and Girl Scouts, Wednesday is Sacred Arts at church, Thursday is music practice and Friday is football or basketball games for the cheer squad. That left us with just Saturday for our family time together, as Sunday was always hurried and rushed with church and groceries (and nap).
I still can’t say whether she understood, but I told her that the YMCA holds summer camps every year, and if we were able, we’d talk next summer about her going to one of those, so she could be ready for volleyball when she enters middle school. I don’t know that she was satisfied, but at least she quit moping around!
Just clone me now. Please. Dolly the sheep would have nothing on me, if there was two (or three or four) of me!
