Quilt Therapy

I’m one of those parents who throws a FIT if one of my children brings home a note from school that has spelling and/or grammatical errors in it.  This should NOT happen.  These people are teaching MY children – and yours, too!  There are so many tools that can be used to check spelling and grammar — but, they are not infallible.  Just sitting down and actually reading what you wrote could possibly save a teacher or school from a critical parental letter from me!

On Saturday, my hubster was a judge for the Junior Ag Mechanics show (notice, that is not shown as possessive – according to the powers that be for the event – who are ALL educators).  I toodled around with his judging group, acting as a gopher, photographer and all-around entertainment … just because I’ve been busy with kids for so many years that I never got to enjoy some of the extracurricular activities that my husband attended.

But, I was stopped in my tracks by the following sign, that was on a number of exhibits from a particular school (I have removed the school’s name, to protect the innocent):

Do you see what I see?  At first, I just walked around the sign, to make sure I was seeing what I thought I saw.  Then, I asked the collegiate FFA assistant that was assisting my husband’s group if she thought that “tomorrows” should be possessive.  Heck, she’s a graduating college student, surely she would have taken English 101 and would know.  ummm, not so much.  Then, I asked a judge or two what he thought – just because it was DRIVING.  ME.  NUTS.  All of the judges in our group are well-educated and work, in some way or another, in an ag-related field – two actually holding teaching certificates in our great state of Texas.  I didn’t expect them to be as retentive as I was about this egregious error…but, I did expect them to know the difference between whether a word was possessive or not.  Not so much there, either.

But, it still made me whip my neck around every time I saw a sign that was missing an apostrophe!

As we were leaving the building, I came upon another sign from the same school:

Ahhh.  I felt so much better.  Except for the fact that half of their signs were WRONG – and their teachers that were attending the event with them should be forced to personally fix every single sign that had errors.  With paintbrushes.  Held with their teeth.  And then, their photos should appear on a shameful teacher website for allowing their students to show up to such a prestigious event with signs that were grammatically incorrect.  Shame on them.

My quilting virtual best friend forever, Pat Sloan (famed quilt designer), designed and posted this photo the other day to a group that we belong to:

Guess she thinks we’re funny – she’s a city slicker and we’re country folk.  I guess when I talk about living in the hills without a phone, wrangling our chickens (NOT pigs) and not being able to run down the block to the grocery store makes her think I’m a country bumpkin!

Ok, I am a country bumpkin – and this photo gave me a good laugh.  What are friends for?

Today is Ash Wednesday on the church calendar.  A special day, a humbling celebration of the simplicity of life’s beginning and end.

Today is also the day that my first cousin is being buried.  Fitting?  I’d say so.  She, too, will return to ashes.

I will not lie, there has been drama with her passing (frankly, I can’t think of a single funeral with that side of my family that hasn’t involved drama of some sort).  It has upset me and hurt me deeply.  I chose not to go to her funeral before the drama began – and thanked God that I made that decision once the drama started.  I will grieve in silence at home, with my family by my side.  I can only turn to God at times like that and lift up those who are doing the hurting in prayer, because that is how He taught us to live our lives:  lift up thine enemies in prayer.  I don’t really see those who have done the hurting as enemies, but giving the issues to God is my way of life.

But, good has come from the drama, too.  Mostly, the knowledge that I am loved unconditionally by a select few – those few are the ones who took me into their homes and hearts when no one else would, oh so many years ago.  And the knowledge that just because someone is part of your family tree, that doesn’t mean you have to let them into your life.  I’ve said it over and over again lately – I will only allow love into my home.  I deserve it, my husband deserves it and our children deserve it.  Nothing but love.  I will always be a disappointment to those who don’t allow God to control their lives, because they believe they have the control.  Fortunately for me, God IS my Father and He will never again allow me to be that child that so many threw away years ago.

It’s the dash between the dates on your tombstone that will tell the truth about your life on earth.  What will your dash say?

Our DD#2 started confirmation classes at our church two weeks ago, and Pastor gave her a binder to keep her work organized. 

On Saturday night, she left the binder on the table with a note on it that said, “Mom, will you please make me a REALLY COOL cover for my CONFORMATION book?”

I laughed at my daughter’s poor spelling.

Then I laughed some more, because she really didn’t know what she had written – or the ramifications that the incorrect spelling would have on the actual context of how the word was used in relation to confirmation.

I got sassy for a minute, and made this cover for her book:

Hubby and I giggled about it, because that really IS the question for anyone — do we conform or confirm with regard to our faith? 

On Sunday, DD#2 gave the paper to Pastor, without giving him any background info.  So, as I was leaving the church, I explained the note she’d left and why I put that cover together.  He laughed … and I asked what he thought the chances were of the kids conforming or confirming.  He just smiled, and as he walked away, he said quietly – “Conform?  Your kids?  Not a chance.”

hmmmm, how should I take that?!

Had our mom lived, she would have been 68 years old today.  I can’t imagine what she’d be like, since she passed away in 1977 at the age of 35.  Of course, I can just peer in the mirror to have an inkling of what she’d have looked like since I seem to favor her looks in many ways.

Mom and Dad (Patricia Elizabeth Hickey Spencer and Raymond Lee Spencer) had six children.  Michelle Spencer Barbor (1961), Michael Spencer (1963-1997), me (1964), Thomas Spencer (1965), Jeffrey Spencer (1967) and James “Jamie” Spencer (1969-1969). 

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mom!  You were loved.

This is a hard post to write.  Any post about death is hard, but since most of my family has died, it’s pretty hard for me to write about another one.

My first cousin Cathy passed away in the night, after-effects of a hip replacement surgery she had last week. 

Cathy and her husband Loren raised my older brother Mike.  He was with them, helping Loren’s dad move, just hours before Mike died of a brain aneurysm in 1997.  They were his family, and their daughters were special to him.

Did I mention that Cathy named her CAT after me?  And that cat lived a long and happy life, even though it had my name.  I’ve had a niece named after me, but not a cat before!

Cathy has been working on me for over a year, trying to pull me into the family loop.  I’ve been resistant, to say the least, and if you knew about my family’s history, you’d probably understand why.  Although Cathy said I was her favorite when I was little, her dad hated me because I looked like my mother – so, I became the “throw-away” child when our dad died and our mom abandoned us.  No one wanted me.  That left a very long life of bitterness on my end, as I traveled from one foster home to another … knowing that I wasn’t wanted by my own family.  Well, I wasn’t wanted by my dad’s side of the family.  Luckily, my uncle on my mom’s side took me in and finished raising me.  Grateful doesn’t begin to explain how I feel about them, but they took a chance and I think I turned out ok – and I give them all the credit for that.

Because God is my Father and Jesus is my Savior – I know that Cathy is on her way to everlasting life, and she believed the same.  I know she’s exactly where she should be, according to His plan - and hopefully she’s giving my brother a big ole’ heavenly hug right now for the both of us.  But, I also know that her mother, husband, daughters, grandchildren, nieces, etc. are suffering from their loss.  I hope it’s acceptable for me to join that group, without offending anyone, and say that I’m suffering a bit, too. 

Before Christmas, Cathy sent me family photos from days gone by.  Lots of photos of my dad’s side of the family, as well as a number of my brothers as they were growing up.  She took hours going through photos and copying them for me, because she knew that I had little or nothing by way of tangible memories of our family. 

She cared about me, even though it took me many years to accept that.  I’m a tough bird to crack, but she was slowly peeling away the layers of my bitterness to show me that even if I felt I wasn’t part of that side of the family, she believed I was.  At least part of her family.  And I was starting to believe that. 

Now, I can only try to find joy in the knowledge that God has plans for her in heaven, better plans than what she thought He had planned for her to do on earth. 

Cathy – thank you for trying to help me find good in people that I always saw as bad.  Thank you for trying to help me see that I had a place in the family, even if I resisted.  Thank you for sharing yourself with me.  And thank you for loving me.  God’s Peace to you as you make your way Home.

I have a foster-cousin from my third foster home who I had a special friendship with, back in my youth.  We were two against the world!  We usually got together once a summer, on week-long canoe trips to the Boundary Waters in northern Minnesota.  Usually, her brother and her dad came with us, as well as my foster family.  Lori and I had to fend off bears (well, at least we were on the LOOKOUT for the bears), skeeters, unruly brothers and doing the dishes over a campfire.  We ate together, portaged together, played games together, sang together and enjoyed the beauty of nature together.  We came from two different worlds, but we got along famously.

I recently re-connected with her, and it’s been a highlight of my evenings – to be able to catch up and enjoy her friendship again, despite the miles (she’s in northern Minnesota and I’m in south central Texas). 

We decided we’d make two quilts together.  I’m going to piece six 15″ blocks for her quilt and the same for my quilt.  Then, she’ll do the same.  By the time we’re done, we’ll swap “our” blocks and put our quilts together. 

A couple of weeks ago, I got her blocks cut out – she’s using the Oh Cherry Oh fabric, from AbbiMays.com.  I’m using Crazy Eight fabric designed by Sandy Gervais.

I’m excited and hope I can get my blocks cut out sometime this month, so I can send her the remaining fabric and give her the opportunity to make our blocks.

Have you tried an intimate (less than a 4) block swap?  It’ll mean a lot to both of us, to have quilts that we share made by each other.  I hope you’ll try it, too!

I’ve had that song stuck in my head for half of a week.  Mostly because I seem to have become the go-to gal for my dad’s side of the family. 

Why Me, Lord?

• I was not raised on my dad’s side, after my folks died — I was raised in foster homes and ended up with an aunt & uncle on my mom’s side.
• I do not have my whole first name, nor my maiden name as my FB profile name.
• It’s pretty well-known that I’m not a fan of a number of the people on my dad’s side of the family
• I was the middle child, and although my older brother is dead, my sister was the ‘golden child’ in our family (well, until she stole our inheritance and then refused to apologize or pay it back)
• I have been to a few family funerals, but certainly not all of them
• I’ve never been to a family reunion with that side of the family
• I do not share with people my family name, ever, unless prompted to do so
• The family defines the word dysfunctional
• Most Important:  I only allow love into my home

Why Me, Lord?

This past week, I was friended on FB by a branch of our family tree that I hardly know.  My grandma was married and had a child before she married my dad’s dad and had 12 more children.  The grandchildren and great-grandchildren of my oldest aunt are the ones who found me.  I’m not saying that they’re bad, I don’t even know them!  I’m just wondering how the heck, out of all of those on that side of the family who use the family name that are on Facebook, did they find ME first???

Why Me, Lord?

And then this morning, I had a revelation.  I realized that I had nothing to do with why or how they found me first – God had His hand in that decision.  I have a VERY biased opinion about the family, but I know a lot of the history (i.e the good, the bad and the ugly) and I am open to seeing if I can be helpful to others in the family…such as with information about our family tree, perhaps with info about where someone lives, perhaps even with a kind word, when no one else in the family had given them one (believe me, I’ve been on the receiving end of a number of bad names from the family, I know that feeling well).  I definitely won’t carry the torch for family togetherness, but I’m willing to be open and understanding enough to grow relationships with those with whom I choose to.  And I will be a witness for Him.  How cool is that?

I get it now – Why Me, Lord indeed!

I’ve said this many times, but we are a book-loving family.  From the time that our children were their tiniest, we’ve read them books.  Even before they started school, they all had the great curiosity and willingness to read.  Our son went through the Kindergarten AND First Grade reading curriculum in less than 3 months.  All of the kids read at grades way above their level, and the most requested adventure around our place is a trip to the library.

And my husband and I read a lot.  A book a day is nothing for us, if we have the time to read.  So, for 2010, you’ll notice on the far right sidebar, I’m going to try to keep track of the number of books that I read.  Thus far, I’ve read 15 books in 31 days:

1. “Vampire Diaries: The Fury and Dark Reunion” by L. J. Smith
2. “The Man You’ll Marry” by Debbie Macomber
3. “Worth the Risk: Partners & The Art of Deception” by Debbie Macomber
4. “Second Chance Pass” by Robyn Carr
5. “Temptation Ridge” by Robyn Carr
6. “Paradise Valley” by Robyn Carr
7. “Forbidden Falls” by Robyn Carr
8. “A Season of Angels” by Debbie Macomber
9. “Touched by Angels” by Debbie Macomber
10. “Stealing Home” by Sherryl Woods
11. “A Slice of Heaven” by Sherryl Woods
12. “Feels Like Family” by Sherryl Woods
13. “Welcome to Serenity” by Sherryl Woods
14. “Gone Tomorrow” by Lee Child
15. “Rough Country” by John Sanford

How many books are you reading?  Are you keeping track?  Let’s do this together – reading keeps your mind active, and sometimes helps keep your dreams alive!